Confessions of a Hostie 3 Read online

  I think it was Ralph Waldo Emerson who said: Every person I meet is my superior in some way in that I learn from them.

  Kathy absorbs every word spoken.

  One thing I find annoying, at times, is when crew get together over drinks to talk purely about work. Often it is about incidences onboard, and that I accept because some of those occurrences are quite traumatic. It helps to talk it out, though the conversations which irk me are when crew talk about procedural, service, or safety work-related issues.

  I sometimes think to myself 'Here we have a group of intelligent, worldly people; we've just had 12 hours on an aircraft where inane work-related issues could be discussed and yet you now choose to talk about it? There are so many other interesting subjects we could be talking about, however we are talking shop.'

  Why?

  There is no such thing as a typical hostie. I see a commonality in many crew: compassion, sociability, and poise (just to name a few) - nonetheless, everyone is an individual. Most flight attendants had some other working career before joining the airline. Many have fascinating interests, sometimes continuing other careers outside of flying.

  I know it can be like a security blanket to talk about subjects we all know and experience, yet I find it frustrating. The pilots are just as bad as cabin crew. So many times I've heard a group of pilots in a social situation talking technical airplane jargon. Remember these people sit up in a sterile locked-up environment for hours and hours with often nothing better to do than talk about technical airplane jargon anyway. It is a social human trait I fail to grasp.

  Some of the most amazing people I have met are airline crew, inclusive of pilots. I've spent untold hours chatting about wine to a captain who owns his own vineyard and winery, another who lives on a 50 foot yacht, a first officer who breeds horses, a captain who restores old aerobatic aircraft to fly them, ... just to name a few.

  Over the years I've had some incredible conversations with the techies (pilots), usually chatting one-on-one. For some reason put three or four tech crew together in a social situation and they feel this inane need to talk about airplanes.

  Regardless of what the pilots talk about, I have the utmost respect for what they do. Airplanes are by and large very safe. I've been on flights involved in a few minor incidences and I must say the pilots in each and every instance were awesome. It helps to have that confidence in the personnel driving at 30,000-plus-feet in the air.

  By the way, I am always happy to hear their stories about such incidences. How they handle the situations and relay the stories, well, that's fascinating.

  zoo stories

  No pilots are poolside tonight, only cabin crew. After a refreshing drink, we decide to grab a bite to eat. Crew are incredibly finicky about their taste in cuisine. A restaurant must tick a number of boxes to get our seal of approval: it must be good, cheap, and close to the hotel. Rarely do we dine in five-star opulence. In Singapore, and almost everywhere else in the world, we eat at casual, inexpensive cafes with good authentic food. That is exactly the type of place we go to tonight. All the crew have been before; ordering the same dishes as I have seen previous crews order.

  If it aint broke, why fix it?

  Singapore is a mix-match of different cultures and influences, being reflected in their food. As many Indians have immigrated to countries like Malaysia and Singapore, the Indian cuisine is typically excellent. The local Singaporean cuisine has many inspirations from surrounding countries such as Malaysia and Indonesia, although western influences can be seen as well. The most famous local dish is chilli crab. For crew to share in the experience of ripping apart crab legs is messy and hard to divide evenly, therefore crab is not ordered. Most times when crew eat together, particularly in Asia, we order a number of different dishes to throw into the middle of the table to share. This is the case, as it always is, at the little café tonight.

  Butter squid, chilli prawns (shrimp), Asian veggies, chicken in curry sauce, pepper beef, and three different rice dishes are just a few of the dishes to grace the table. I rarely drink beer, but when you are on the equator and the nearest quality chilled wine is in your dreams, then beer it is. It is amazing how refreshing an ice cold drink of any description can be when the outside temperature is as hot as the chilli prawns you are eating. Even so, one beer for me is ample. Mind you, the glass is massive.

  Apart from the one beer each, Kathy and I only drank two glasses of wine each by the pool. For some that is a lot, but for seasoned drinkers, like ourselves, it is par-for-the-course. Thanks to the effects of jetlag, waking up with a hangover is sometimes not easily recognizable. I should have no such problems tomorrow.

  The clock must have ticked past 2.15 a.m. without me noticing. I have a great sleep, waking up as refreshed as can be expected given this job and lifestyle. Kathy told me to call her any time after eight in the morning. Kathy revealed she has a coffee addiction.

  'Funny about that...' I said with a grin.

  We meet at Starbucks to collectively sigh 'Ah-h-h' before catching a cab to the zoo.

  By the way, taxis are so cheap in Asia. A country like Singapore is small, yet traveling from one side to the other by cab costs little more than going to the next suburb in a city like Los Angeles. Consequently, taxis in Asia are usually my preferred transport choice.

  Breakfast with the orangutans is fun. It is not really as the name breakfast with the orangutans suggests - we are not sitting at a dining table sharing toast and jam with orangutans. It is a normal breakfast with orangutans nearby, with their handlers. Orangutans are beautiful creatures. They perform a few tricks. It is quite demeaning for such a majestic animal being captive, nevertheless the whole zoo experience is about seeing the animals and learning.

  We cannot overthink the situation.

  At one point handlers bring out a snake; a python. This is no snake - this is an aircraft fuselage with a forked tongue. They ask me if I would like to pose for a photo with this reptile of gargantuan proportions draped around my neck.

  Not on your life.

  I would rather tackle a drunk, crazy passenger on the plane (which I have) than touch a snake. It is one of the funny things in life; most women are so strong and fearless, yet we scream when we see a spider - or a snake. I know I do.

  I tell Kathy about some of my onboard physical encounters - in an attempt to demonstrate that being scared of a snake doesn't prove I am a coward. I did not really want to talk about work with Kathy, yet I know in my 20 years of flying how many incidences have occurred. I was wondering if Kathy had similar events in her career, being twice as long as mine. She had.

  She tells of an incident almost 30 years ago; back in the days when the flight deck was not more secure than Fort Knox. Since September 11 that all changed. There are now codes, passwords, secret handshakes... Seriously, to get into the flight-deck for crew is a complicated procedure these days. It would be almost impossible for potential bad guys. It was a different aviation world 30 years ago.

  Kathy tells of a passenger, a big man, who was drunk and delusional. For some reason he decided he needed to go to the flight deck. Another passenger travelling with the man followed him toward the front of the plane, yelling at the man to return to his seat - and thus drawing attention to the crew. Kathy was closest to the flight deck door, with two other male flight attendants working nearby.

  'What ensued just happened so quickly: the delusional man threw a punch at the man trying to stop him going to the flight deck - and then he grabbed the man and threw him into the door - and THROUGH the door. As you know, in the old days the doors weren't secure, in fact they often had a panel which could be kicked out in an emergency. Anyhow, the panel of the door opened up and before we knew it both men were in the flight deck, on the floor, right on front of the instrumentation and controls between the seats of the two techies. Bodies were thrashing around everywhere. You should have seen the look on the techies' faces. The bigger man, the delusional one, is on top and about to do, well,
I do not really know what - this in serious stuff, so I dived in on top of him. The other two crew did the same. So we now have five bodies stacked on top of each other in the flight deck, right in front of the techies, while they are trying to fly the plane - and this idiot is still thrashing about. I think the FO (First Officer) at one point rammed his elbow into this guy's head. I know I had my arms wrapped around his neck, like a wrestler. I couldn't believe how strong this guy was.'

  As I listen to Kathy telling the story, I am mesmerized. Flight decks are tiny. I can just imagine the horror of the situation.

  She tells of how they managed to subdue the man and then drag him a few paces backwards, while still in the flight deck doorway - in full view of passengers. Kathy and the two other flight attendants were handed handcuffs. They then attempted to cuff the man.

  'This guy is still thrashing about. He is also making noises like a wounded animal. His brain is obviously scrambled, but he is very strong. As you know, we are not policemen. Trying to handcuff this brute wasn't easy. I reckon it took at least two minutes to get the handcuffs on him. That's a long time when you are being thrown around and you know if you let go of him he could end up back in the flight deck and doing who-knows-what? Anyhow, we finally got the cuffs on, but this guy kept thrashing about...'

  not all alarms are false

  I am spellbound as Kathy tells of the incident of the out-of-control man in the flight deck, explaining how she and the crew handcuffed him. Although the man's arms were restrained, she told that he continued to thrash around. She was bumped and buffeted when they bundled him to a seat. Regarding the scuffle in the flight deck, she is unsure of how many times she was hit, although recalls it was numerous. She tells that the flight wasn't full so they were able to move some nearby front row passengers to other seats to then bundle the cuffed man into the seat, using seatbelts and whatever they could to strap the man down. They also covered him in a blanket as he was making so much noise.

  I've heard, on other airlines, of passengers who have had their mouths gaffer-taped shut. I guess when the comfort of the other passengers is compromised, one has to do what one has to do.

  An interesting observation Kathy makes about the incident is she said that not one passenger got up to help while the event occurred.

  In her words: 'They all sat there looking like stunned mullets.'

  The flight deck door, and the incident, was in full view of many passengers, yet no one left their seat to help. She noted that this was before September 11.

  'I think these days if some lunatic was threatening the flight deck you'd have every passenger jumping out of their seats and attacking him within a heartbeat.'

  It is a wise observation. What happened on September 11 changed the aviation industry forever. I know our emergency training has changed. If there was a hijack threat of any description we were once told to be passive and negotiate. Now we are trained to use whatever force or means necessary to overwhelm the perpetrator or perpetrators. Passengers too know the possible consequences of inaction.

  Kathy tells me the man who ended up smashing the flight deck door had recently split with his wife, was drinking for days prior, and then jumped on the aircraft to wash down a whole lot of pills with yet more alcohol. He was taken into custody when the flight landed, however Kathy said that almost a month after the incident she received a letter from the company saying the man had no recollection of the incident and was receiving physiological treatment.

  Kathy is a compassionate person, yet I can see the anger in her eyes when recalling the episode. Even though it was long ago, she still bares emotional scars. Apparently she only received a few bumps and bruises on the day, yet the trauma of the event left a lasting impression. The man who caused so much grief to the crew was getting psychological treatment and the crew got nothing. Kathy is a strong woman; very little would phase her, nevertheless she was affected by the episode.

  I think these days the airlines offer a little more assistance to traumatized crew than what they once did. A phrase like duty of care has become an integral part of the workplace. I can tell you though, from my 20 years' experience and all the dramas I have seen onboard, not once have I been offered any counseling or assistance - nor have I asked for any help.

  After telling the story, Kathy changes the subject. I have the impression it is a story rarely told, however I am pleased she shared it with me.

  We stay at the zoo until lunchtime. Eating zoo-café-food is not really my idea of gourmet indulgence, so I suggest we head back into Singapore proper to grab a bite to eat. After discussion, Kathy and I discover we share a love of Indian food. We catch a cab to a little Indian restaurant I've dined many times. Funnily, Kathy has not heard of it, yet keen to try. It is cheap, fresh, and very good. While mopping-up the last of the butter chicken sauce with her naan bread, Kathy declares she will be back.

  With content stomachs there is only one relaxing thing left for two girls to do: shop. We go to Orchard Road. The name came from fruit orchards, and spices like nutmeg and pepper plantations, which the road led to in the mid-1800s. Commercial development began in the twentieth century and took off in the 1970s. Now it is wall-to-wall shopping centers, mostly high-end. As international travelers we are spoilt with shopping choices. Asia, overall, is very cheap, yet I find the major expensive brands so much cheaper when on-sale in places like The U.S. Kathy and I are too savvy to pay full retail.

  Some of the centers in Orchard Road have really good sales, with one such store on our bargain-radar being a Japanese department store, Isetan. Kathy and I spend an hour at Isetan, scoring some terrific bargains before continuing our shopping quest.

  Carrying shopping bags aplenty we make our way back to the hotel. What a great day. I really enjoyed Kathy's company - and am sure she was appreciative of mine. We have a ridiculously early start in the morning, so a late night is not an option. We are both still full from lunch, so we grab some supplies from the local supermarket, in case we get hungry later in the evening or when we wake up at that ridiculously early time.

  I continually say the hardest thing about my job is getting adequate sleep. Even disregarding time changes, there is no routine in the times I go to work. Sometimes it is late at night, sometimes in the middle of the day, and, like tomorrow, sometimes it is in the wee hours of the morning. It is what it is, so we try to adjust the best way we can. In my case (like many others who fly), to sleep, it is popping a sleeping pill.

  I use a natural product as I don't like drugs of any description. If I could sleep naturally I would. The product I buy is available over the counter in most countries and on the shelves in The U.S. I take the recommended amount; one tablet. It helps me sleep for exactly four hours. I once took one and a half tablets, working on the theory I might get six hours sleep, however what sounds good in theory rarely works in real life. I still only had the mandatory four hours sleep.

  I have tried stronger prescription sleeping tablets, but I tended to get headaches or dizzy spells after. Everyone is different and what works for me may not work for someone else.

  The one real problem with any sleeping tablet is when I am woken inside the mandatory four hours of sleep I usually have. This has happened a few times.

  I'll tell you about one memorable instance: It was in Paris during the middle of winter when the hotel's evacuation alarms went off. Everybody had to get out. I had a sleeping tablet only an hour before the alarm bells rang. I was out for the count. I woke up disoriented with the sounds of evacuation bells ringing at deafening levels in my room and throughout the hotel. Dressed only in pajamas, I clumsily threw a jacket over the top, grabbed a hairbrush from the bathroom, and hot-trotted out of the room. For all I knew the building may have been on fire.

  Why did I grab a hairbrush?

  I later asked myself the same question.

  I guess I saw my hair in the hallway mirror as I was about to leave the room. It must not have been a pretty sight. Realistically, my computer has
all my contacts, my writings, my life, and what I should have taken, however vanity is a funny thing. Although I was dazed, to be seen in the street with messed up hair, to me, at the time was unacceptable.

  The first rule of being in a high-rise building with a possible fire is: don't use the lifts. I found the nearest stairway exit and joined the dozens of other guests leaving the building - all 21 floors down.

  As an international flight attendant my sleep-time is often in the middle of the day as was the case this day. People in Paris typically dress beautifully. I stood outside on that cold Parisian day wearing pajamas and a coat (but at least my hair looked good). By the way, the evacuation turned out to be a false alarm - they usually are, but you never know.

  In my hundreds, if not thousands, of hotel stays, I have yet to be involved in a major incident nor fire. I have had a number of instances where I've been stuck in the hotel, although never where I've had to permanently leave. Events where I have had to stay in the hotel were a result of either security issues in the country at the time, or natural disasters. I accept that natural disasters occur throughout the world, however it's security issues which scare me the most. When the crew are told to not leave the hotel because of riots or political unrest, I take note - no matter how enticing the local shopping may be.

  Fortunately Singapore is politically stable, and apart from severe electrical storms, I've yet to be disrupted by nature's fury - in Singapore, at least. In other countries I've been through typhoons, hurricanes, a cyclone, severe snow storms, earthquakes and tremors, and even a tornado. I am sure every international flight attendant or global traveler would have a story or two about being stuck in a place because of circumstances beyond their control. It happens frequently; some places more than others. I've had the most disruptions in Asia. In Mumbai, India we were flooded-in for three days and on two occasions we were confined to the hotel because of terrorist activities. Similarly, in Bangkok we were stuck at the hotel because of flooding and on at least three occasions political unrest and demonstrations saw us not venture outside the hotel. A typhoon in Manila was harrowing, as too earth tremors in Japan and Chile. I've seen the devastation Mother Nature can bring. It is an unpredictable world.